Lonesome George

Some of you have probably heard of this old fellow named Lonesome George. This fine old fellow is the rarest reptile in the world and there’s a reason for this…he is the only one left (hence the name Lonesome George, genius…). He is also known as the Pinta Giant Tortoise and scientifically known as Geochelone abingdoni. This guy is a heavyweight man…88kg and 102cm in length~! He is also one of the smaller species…size is relative on Galapagos. He is roughly 60~90 years old. Darwin probably met his parents…

The reason why this fellow is left alone is no surprise…tortoise hunting for meat. Also, some dumb fuck introduced goats on Pinta Island (one of the Galapagos islands). In case you’re wondering what have goats got to do with their massive demise, goats ate all their veggies…

So anyways, I thought I’d just give you readers a glimpse of this wonderful reptile…

I wanna play like this~!

I’m a fan of classical and accoustic guitars but I downright suck at playing both. This dude that I just found on YouTube is like WHOA~! to me man…I love songs by Queen and this is about the best as it can get…I am going to learn at least one part of Bohemian Rhapsody even if all the flesh on my fingertips turn to blisters~!

Bohemian Rhapsody by Edgar Cruz

Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Edgar Cruz

Excerpts 

My Chelonians…

For the non-reptile inclined people out there, Chelonians are defined as an order of the Reptilia, subclass Anapsida, including turtles, terrapins and tortoises. This order is also known as the Testudines. Source: http://www.answers.com/topic/chelonia-3 <—read more here.

Though there are many contradicting definitions of turtles, tortoises and terrapins due to regional preference (the Brits call turtles tortoises), here is my definition for each of them:

Turtles: Semi-aquatic omnivors with webbed feet. Can be divided into freshwater or marine species. Freshwater examples are your typical Red-Eared Slider (RES) <— the Ninja Turtle one, and for marine species, you’ve got your Hawksbill Turtle etc. etc. <—ask Pelf for more info on marine turtles.

PS: I forgot to mention that marine turtles have FLIPPERS not webbed feet.

Terrapins: Semi-aquatic omnivors with webbed feet. Usually trives in brackish water (Saltwater + Freshwater) such as marshes. Examples are the Diamondback Terrapin (DBT) and River Terrapin or Tuntung. <— I may be wrong so ask Pelf for more info.

Tortoises: Terrestial herbivors with club-shaped feet with reduced toes adapted for walking on land. Will NOT swim and will drown in deep water. Most have a high dome carapace (top shell) with the exception of the Pancake Tortoise and moves pretty slow. Can be found mainly in savannahs and deserts. Examples are the famous Galapagos Tortoise and the Indian Star Tortoise.

I know many people who only think of marine turtles as turtles and freshwater ones as terrapins or tortoises. Then you have the more ignorant ones who call everything with a shell a tortoise. But I don’t give a damn and I’m tired of arguing with these fools, so these are my definitions whether you like it or not~!

Now comes the interesting part…pictures of my pet chelonians~!

Meet Maurice, the Chinese Striped-neck Turtle aka Golden Thread Turtle (Ocadia Sinensis). This species can be found in Myanmar and the surrounding regions.

Here, he is basking on my DIY island.

He’s camera shy… GERONIMO~! *SPLASH~!*

Here’s a close-up of the handsome bugger…

This is Georgie, my beloved Indian Star Tortoise hatchling which died from Upper Respiratory Infection (URI). I miss the cute little bugger… T_T

Honor and a penis…

This is one of my favourite English translated Shin Chan episodes…

“To be a man, you must have honor, honor and a peeenis…uuUUuuuuu”  HAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Caught those bloody bastards~!

This was in The Star Online today: http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/4/8/nation/20878715&sec=nation

They managed to catch those bloody motherfuckin’ killers~! Those 25 surviving turtles should be allowed to chew off these bastards’ dicks before being released again… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! Tear them to bits~!

 

 

 

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes

Ever wondered wad a Tamil movie song would sound like in English?

Well now you have the answer….

Indian Thriller…pretty good moves I must say…

“Who put the goat in there? The yellow goat I ate!”

Who’s your favourite chef?

In my personal opinion, I feel that most men make better chefs than women. Before you galz hantam me, please refer to the bolded words and let me emphasize that I wrote MOST men…not ALL men. I would also like to emphasize on the word CHEF and not cooks. It might mean the same thing to you, but not to me. Example: My mom is a GREAT cook, and I on the other hand, is a pretty good chef (tooting my own horn here).

Let me tell you the differences between a cook and a chef. Please note that this is how I see it, so if you feel it’s wrong or incorrect, just post a comment. I’ll just decide if it’s worth publishing. MUAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Well, here goes. First up…the cook. A cook is usually a woman and most likely a housewife. For a cook, recipes are passed down from generation to generation, from mother to daughter in most cases. Recipes are simple yet supremely delicious and one of a kind, it is very hard to duplicate a cook’s recipe. The reason behind this is because most cook’s recipes frequently use the agak-agak method of measurement. A cook doesn’t always make new recipes and usually concentrates on perfecting a few existing ones (which is why they are supremely delicious). A cook usually makes food with a special ingredient -love. While we’re on the topic of cooking with love, it might also be noted that the quality of a cook’s food varies with the mood of the cook at the time it was made. Usually, when wives cook for their hubby on Valentine’s Day or Christmas or his birthday, the food just tastes extra good. However, during certain times of the month…the food quality drops a little but guys will and should NEVER say anything~! Presentation is not of utmost importance for a cook. As long as it tastes good, they can serve it in a basin and people will still eat it. Take for example your mom, do you see her serving you chicken curry on a 1ft X 1ft square plate with a dollop of santan in the corner and a few fresh sprigs of daun kari as a garnish?

Next up…the chef. A chef is usually a guy and mostly quite good looking as well (with the exception of Chef Wan and that Chef Skuter guy). Most of the time, it takes some formal education to be a chef. Recipes are often learned from duplicating a senior chef’s recipe until the time is right to get creative and create a totally new recipe. A chef’s recipe usually includes very precise measurements and procedures. This is so the learning chefs don’t screw up their masterpieces. Their recipes are also very creative and expensive to make. Chefs usually cook food as a profession and make money out of it. There is rarely any love gone into making a dish for you. Presentation is EVERYTHING to a chef. They will go all out to impress you with the look of their dish. Until today I still don’t understand why soup is served in a rather flat bowl that is placed on top of a soup saucer of sorts and is put on the plate that is already on the table which would be removed later for no apparent reason??? Lastly, a chef rarely cleans up his own dirty pots and pans. Why I say I’m a chef is because of that last statement.

With all that being said, there are occurrences of cooks that cook like chefs and chefs that cook like cooks. But who cares? All that just complicates matters…

Now, back to the subject of who is your favourite chef? I have the Asian Food Channel’s chef list to help us along: http://www.asianfoodchannel.com/chefs.php. I vote for Robert Rainford~! License to Grill is my favourite AFC program. It’s all about meat. Me like meat. Me eat meat with fingers. Yum yum ooga ooga ooga. Me go back to cave now to eat meat…

Pen Spinning Tournament? WTF?

Here’s a little something my esteemed colleague sent to me: http://ptj2008.pen-spinning.org/

These Japanese got no better things to do ar? Too free is it? They actually have a Pen Spinning Association Japan~! WTF?!

“Today we will attempt a new style of pen spinning. It is called ‘The Spinning Fuji Monkey on Lopsided Crane’s Backside’. Step 1…”

DO NOT eat turtle and terrapin eggs!

A year long campaign (February 2008 ~ February 2009) has been launched by University Malaysia Terengganu to encourage people NOT to eat turtle and terrapin eggs. It is so un-cool to even think of eating them. I heard it tastes like sand. Why would anyone want to eat something that tastes like sand?! Gila ar?

Kesian the small fellas la… First, before born already got predators like biawak and musang go raid the nest.  Then, if hatched already, must crawl fast fast to the sea. On the way, get attacked by birds. Reach the sea, get attacked by predator fish and other big ass sea creatures. As if their life is not hard enough, here come the dumb-ass homo sapiens (humans…duh) who think “Aiyah…everyday eat chicken egg, duck egg, goose egg, quail egg…boring la. Eh? What that thing on the beach? HEY~! I found new type of egg~! Looks like ping pong ball and tastes like sand but who cares? I can sell this to other dumb-ass people like me and make lots of money~! I can even persuade the government to make eating turtle eggs part of a tourism gimmick…How cool is that?”. And thus, our poor young fellas don’t even stand a chance.

So, it’s time to stop being a dumb-ass homo sapien. You can do so by pledging to NOT eat turtle or terrapin eggs for the rest of your life. Simple economics la…no demand mar no business for selling eggs lo. As Jackie Chan would say, “When the buying stops, the killing can too”.

The target is to have at least 1 million Malaysians to sign a pledge to NOT eat turtle or terrapin eggs for the rest of their life. A “Turtle Ambassador” like me, will approach the public (for my case, family and friends) to sign the forms presented to them. You can also send an email to turtle@umt.edu.my with the message “I pledge NOT to eat turtle or terrapin eggs for the rest of my life” together with your full name and MyKad number (for authentication purposes). Another alternative is to fill in an online form at: http://www.umt.edu.my/turtle/?p=18.

Nuff said. Go forth and save our turtles~!